My life........as I know it.
Welllllllll about 2 months ago I was diagnosed as bipolar. I did a lot of research and decided I wasn't and my therapist was wrong wrong wrong.
I was wrong. I really am bipolar and there are signs from YEARS ago to substantiate it.
I cut my arms when I was 16. I lost my virginity. My mom wasn't able to handle it and I didnt know how to react to that... so... I cut my arms. That was the first big thing.
Oh... maybe it was giving oral sex for the first time at 13? I digress.
Anyway... there were 2 other major outbursts that happened when I was 23 and then 27 that I am not comfortable sharing here, yet!
Anyway... Besides manic times in my life that are huge like cutting... there are smaller things. Rumenating (spiraling thoughts) that I can't stop. Staying up all night long because you can't shut off your brain. Highs and lows. Being happy and then down in the dumps that lasts for weeks. That was me and I didn't know it.
Now I do. I have a psychiatrist who gives me medication and a therapist I adore.
And I have some GREAT friends. Bill, Emily, Sherry, Stacey, Al and more.
Al. Wow. Only met him for 5 minutes last Sunday. Scared the pants off of me. He met me by a store I was going to for a minute. HOTTIE... Going to be my hottie one of these days. Eventually. He is out of commission right now for a medical issue that is resolving. Not frigging fast enough. :) I digress :)
How can I love Bill so much and yet REALLY REALLY like AL soooooooo frigging much? I do... both things.
Bill has taught me so much. I am independent. I am strong. I don't NEED anyone, I want someone.
Al... is supportive, nurturing, funny, honest. REAL! Not like anyone I have ever met.
I am greatful to both men for being in my life.
I just wish to spend time with Al. Real life time.
Hope... My daughter. OMG, she is sooooooooo funny. Hope will be 3 on March 2, 2007. Almost around the corner. I cant believe how fast time has gone. I miss holding her in my hands... the little feet, the smell of baby. She is now my little girl. With a mouth... and an attitude. Where does she get it?
OK my friends... I love you all.
'Night.
I was wrong. I really am bipolar and there are signs from YEARS ago to substantiate it.
I cut my arms when I was 16. I lost my virginity. My mom wasn't able to handle it and I didnt know how to react to that... so... I cut my arms. That was the first big thing.
Oh... maybe it was giving oral sex for the first time at 13? I digress.
Anyway... there were 2 other major outbursts that happened when I was 23 and then 27 that I am not comfortable sharing here, yet!
Anyway... Besides manic times in my life that are huge like cutting... there are smaller things. Rumenating (spiraling thoughts) that I can't stop. Staying up all night long because you can't shut off your brain. Highs and lows. Being happy and then down in the dumps that lasts for weeks. That was me and I didn't know it.
Now I do. I have a psychiatrist who gives me medication and a therapist I adore.
And I have some GREAT friends. Bill, Emily, Sherry, Stacey, Al and more.
Al. Wow. Only met him for 5 minutes last Sunday. Scared the pants off of me. He met me by a store I was going to for a minute. HOTTIE... Going to be my hottie one of these days. Eventually. He is out of commission right now for a medical issue that is resolving. Not frigging fast enough. :) I digress :)
How can I love Bill so much and yet REALLY REALLY like AL soooooooo frigging much? I do... both things.
Bill has taught me so much. I am independent. I am strong. I don't NEED anyone, I want someone.
Al... is supportive, nurturing, funny, honest. REAL! Not like anyone I have ever met.
I am greatful to both men for being in my life.
I just wish to spend time with Al. Real life time.
Hope... My daughter. OMG, she is sooooooooo funny. Hope will be 3 on March 2, 2007. Almost around the corner. I cant believe how fast time has gone. I miss holding her in my hands... the little feet, the smell of baby. She is now my little girl. With a mouth... and an attitude. Where does she get it?
OK my friends... I love you all.
'Night.
posted by Stacey @ 4:28 PM
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